Minions! I come to you with my soul knotted into a million tiny shards. There's something very terrifying about saying things you don't mean, something estranging from your own skin, lips, vocal cords, tongue.... like being in a car right before an accident, I shrink to let another person take over, shrink beyond my yelling at her to stop, shrink beyond my ability to connect, shrink from the massive terror of seeing something precious being destroyed due to nothing but cowardice or fear, my heart got ripped out. I have other people inside, and they imprison me, they stop my words, choke me mid sentences, they roam the muscles of my hands and stop them from extending, they stand on the corners of my eyes and stop them expressing, they block the tear ducts, they tie the tongue, they tighten my cage everyday... I am scared, and even though this has happened a million times before, I never before cared about the consequences... this time I can't live with them... I am scared to the point of pushing away everything I love enough to get scared of losing. Minions, numb is no longer ok, emptiness is no longer safe and love is no longer transient... help me on a killing spree.
