About the constant migration of the borders!

Minions, I come to you purging! I have practised till perfection and beyond it till permanence the act of looking for me.... when I was young, I was maybe behind that test grade, in this story, with those friends, in that mold.... when I was a bit older than young I was maybe in that protagonist, in this song, maybe I was unique and I was in the exact opposite of that mold..... now maybe I can be found in the patterns, maybe in people's views on me, maybe in my best produce rather than best state of being, maybe in conversations where practical strangers praise me on goodness I know I do not have, maybe in those most honest lies, maybe I am in my steadfast belief in their falsehood..... when I'm older maybe I will have found me already, maybe all I will have found are new nooks and crannies to look for me in. I honestly don't know any more if people are really supposed to find themselves, or if there is nothing to find, if our lives and our"selves" are simply built and designed by us along the way. Minions, against what people said to me over and over again, the older I am the less I know and the wider more complicated the places I need to look for me in get, and that... that is just not fun! I have practised till perfection, and beyond it till permanence and beyond those till meaningless the act of looking for me.... Minions, find me, or at least find meaning, till then I wander with you in apathy.

About personal space, social dances and walls!

Minions! My stretching extensions of personal space, I come to you perplexed. Between the cauldrons of my heart and the gaps of my lips have always lied a thousand doors and locks, yet to some, feelings and thoughts are continuously flowing as if they have their hearts barely inside them at all! Our relationships with people are like intersecting venn diagrams, for every inch we are offered, an equal portion of us is expectedly gobbled up.... we are most easily invaded by being lured in rather than heavily attacked, and thus my minions, sincerity unnerves me. Minions! Help me find a middle ground, semi permeable walls that can go one way or thicker skin that can hold me firmly while under the invasion. 

About the fears, reluctances and chains that won't go away!

Minions! My only spaces of ultimate freedom, I come to you scared. While we spend our lives fearing worst case scenarios.. it is in fact the things that we already know that could have immense power over us and within seconds could run us to the ground cowering! Even at the very moment we think we're on top of the world old ingrained chains pull us right into the mud again. Every cell in me is shivering in alarm of undefined consequences, almost as though if I only loosened up a minuscule bit they will burst in escape in a hundred different directions and I will be no more... so I grip me tighter. Sometimes it feels as if the only safe place is inside, so I imagine me going into myself in a crescendo that would only lead to self doom till the exhaustion from the image drains the adrenaline. Sometimes even that wont do... fear is a strong cage minions and I need out! Minions, dispel my chains so I can run in joy rather than fear, and back me firmer so I won't turn back.... it is with faith in you that I jump into the fray again.