Minions! I am selfish. Connecting to others is a strong driving force to human behaviour, it is a need; I have never had that need satisfied. I am too vain to risk showing people my cracks, I can't connect without showing them. Instead of focusing on all the things I want to say, I drown myself in all the ways I could say them but won't! I break and rearrange the letters a thousand times; I play with synonyms and admire the beauty of antonyms! I dance with words till I lose the urgency of saying them, then I wake up, sweating, tired and as always disconnected.... If I use "like" instead of "burn with love", then I can test the waters... if I use "tired" instead of "maddeningly lonely" I can disguise my weakness, if I use "No" instead of "I have been waiting a thousand years to say Yes!" I keep my walls up... I use words that are always half burning with the deepest conviction of their meanings, the fire gets put out by fake half jokes and I fizzle instead of ignite! Minions, deliver me out of halves.
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